"INTRODUCING THE DANGEROUS CREATURES, WE ARE A SELECT GROUP OF MEN, PICKED FROM THE HIGHEST ECHELONS OF SOCIETY. THE CURRENT TOURING SQUAD IS MADE UP OF ELITE SPORTSMAN AND TOP ACADEMICS. WE EXIST TO
SERVE, SERVICE AND PROTECT."

Codename: Nursey.

Nursey epitomises what the Dangerous Creatures are all about. Nursey entered into folklore after the first mission to GC, where he broke all records by drinking and romancing (schnimbling) more than it had been previously thought possible by a human being. This is his third tour of duty, and if it matches up to previous performances, he will go down in the history books.
nursey@dangerouscreatures.co.uk

Codename: Duxie.

Australian Duxie skippered the previous mission to GC, and was widely recognised for his leadership skills and funneling ability. He also demonstrated his first-aid knowledge by saving the life of Adidas Girl, which led to his promotion to tour doctor. Duxie was one of the elite
members of the previous GC tour who "went large" for fourteen nights on the trot, for which they were awarded the "Lesbian bracelet".
duxie@dangerouscreatures.co.uk

Codename: General.

The General also known as Franco. Another member of the elite "Lesbian bracelet" crew, General was also chief cameraman of the last GC tour. Well-known around London for his legal skills and his insatiable appetite for Ploughmans lunches, the General is an integral part of the GC team, doing a lot of the dirty work in the background and making sure everything runs smoothly.
general@dangerouscreatures.co.uk

Codename: Yoey.

Yoey skippered the successful 3-man mission to Amsterdam earlier this year and has been an ever present on previous tours. A giant both physically and intellectually, he effortlessly manages to combine serious academic pursuits with a healthy appetite for drinking. Yoey is seen as the level-headed, sensible member of the tour, and so is often in charge of logistical operations.
yoey@dangerouscreatures.co.uk

Codename: Soax.

Soax got his nickname in spectacular fashion and has never looked back since. He has boundless levels of energy and is able to motivate even the most battle-weary of troops. His athletic build disguises the fact that he can drink like a Trojan, and he was another member of the elite "Lesbian bracelet" crew. Soax's reputation as a party animal has spread to New Zealand and Australia, where he enjoyed a very successful mission in 1999.
soax@dangerouscreatures.co.uk

Codename: Boney

Bones is another returning member, having had a hugely successful last trip to Gran Canaria. Once he got the taste for battle, he was unstoppable, surpassing all expectations. Bones has been given the role of Special Operations co-ordinator, and there are no doubts that he will be able to fulfil the requirements of the job superbly. boney@dangerouscreatures.co.uk

Codename: Vanda

After returning from the last tour of Gran Canaria, Vanda has kept a low profile in London, preferring to operate out of either Brighton or Cannes in France. Sporting bleached blonde hair and a number of interesting hats, Vanda is often seen pulling off some incredible moves on the dancefloors. For this reason, he has been appointed tour choreographer.
vanda@dangerouscreatures.co.uk

Codename: Spooney

The unmistakable Spooney is another new addition to the team. Having spent a gruelling 6 months in India during 1999, Spooney will certainly be able to cope with the horrors of battle in Gran Canaria. With a reputation for chundering early on and then continuing drinking, Spooney will have ample opportunity to put these skills to good use. spooney@dangerouscreatures.co.uk

Codename: Westy

Having realised the error of his ways after declining to take part in the original tour, Westy steps aboard this year for the first time. As with all new recruits, he is expected to get up to speed straight away, and we look forward to him putting in a tremendous performance.
westy@dangerouscreatures.co.uk

Codename: Wiiillll

Wiiillll having missed first round selections, through his own stupidity, is a promising new recruit. His personal fitness and experience in handling large animals should mean he has the endurance and strength to last distance. In the last twelve months he has toyed with the small county of Surrey, which should be a good stepping stone for the heights of GC.
wiiillll@dangerouscreatures.co.uk

MIA: Fled

Fled was captured by the enemy on the last tour of GC and is believed to be held hostage somewhere in the Hull area. Only fleeting glimpses of Fled have been since, as reassurance that he is still alive, but his days as a soldier may well be behind him.

MIA: Thompski

Thompski was sent on a long and arduous mission to Africa during 1999, and he has since shown reluctance to go back into the battle zone. Quite what went on during those long months in Africa no-one is sure, but we are sure that it won't be long before he is willing to step up to the front line once again.

MIA: Cobra

Cobra spent much of 1999 as an urban warrior on the streets of Paris, and made some very valuable acquisitions there. However, the experience must have been horrific, as he grew a ponytail and became very fat. However, now that he has lost several stones in weight and several inches of hair, it is hoped that he will return to full active service in the near future.

MIA: Dawso

Dawso was a covert operative on the last tour of duty, working without being detected for almost the entire trip, despite some spectacular achievements that resulted in a very dirty ceiling. His last known whereabouts were New Zealand.

Copyright © 1999 [Dangerous Creatures]. All rights reserved.
Revised: 6th July, 2000.